The Relationship Blog

Transcending the View of Sexual Disorders in Los Angeles

All of us at some time or another are faced with sexual issues that interfere with our sexual relationships, whether it is impotency, premature ejactulations, sexual disinterest, orgastic problems, or just overwhelming fear.  I offer the sexual partners that I work a whole different way of looking at these issues by questioning the sexual definitions that we have all been conditioned to believe in. So in my model, instead of sex being defined by the occurrence of vaginal intercourse, I regard sex as any energy that is exchanged between two people regardless of the form being expressed.  The energy may be sadness, scared, provng, feeling obliged, aggression, or even sexual distinerest. Every part of your humanity offers a possibility to expand what is allowed in your sexual bed. No longer is your bed divided into acceptable behaviors being placed above the bed and unacceptable parts hidden beneath the bed.   By expanding the bed in this way each couple learns to transcend the whole notion of some behaviors being considered disorders and every night or day provides the possibility to be sexual together.  A second change in this model is that orgasms are no longer just seen as one familiar picture. Here orgasm is defined as a 100% of anything you experience, with the emphasis on each person passionately expressing whatever is authentic for them at a given time from head to toe.  From this expansive change in perspective my couples see themselves as sexual everyday, and no longer ask their partners “if they feel sexual tonight. “

Those who are able to shift their conditioned perspective to the one proposed in this model of sex to fit current times, will feel much freer to be who they are with their partners since their beds will no longer be ruled by judgemental thinking, right and wrong, good and bad, and staying within very familiar boundaries. Some of them are even able to celebrate the title of my chapter on sex in We’d Have A Great Realtionship If it weren’t for You  called the Joy of Unsatisfactory Sex.  Think about it. If doing unsatisfactory sexujal behavior is allowed, how could your time in the bedroom be anything but satisfactory since you no longer have anything to fear or dread.

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