The Relationship Blog

Dr. Bruce Derman – An Introduction to The Relationship Doctor

Hi, my nam e is Dr. Bruce Derman, and I’m a clinical psychologist. I’ve been in practice for 43 years, and I’ve written three books: We’d Have A Great Relationship If It Weren’t For You, We Could Have A Great Date If It Weren’t For You, and a fable called The Hole that deals with man’s struggle with emptiness. All of this has led me to be called The Relationship Doctor.

There are many therapists out there, but we don’t have the same style and philosophy. I want to give you some sense of who I am. I love being a Therapist. It is not a job for me, it is my passion. In fact, I work out of my home, and I tell my clients, “You invite me into your world, and I invite you into mine.” I also want you to know that I’m a very direct, no-nonsense, frank, therapist, who is extremely engaging. So I’m not good for all people. Some people who need more hand holding are not the best people for me to work with. I need to work with people who are really serious about making real change in their life.

Another thing I want to mention that people ask me, “How do you choose a therapist?”, and what I tell them is that you choose a therapist by finding someone who can hold the vibration that is unacceptable to you. Maybe you have difficulty with love, you have difficulty with acceptance, you have difficulty with fear. You need to choose a therapist who can hold that, in order for there to be therapy. If the therapist cannot hold that, in my mind there is no therapy. You’re just occupying space together, and it’s not really therapy.

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