Sex Therapy Technique For: Lack of Sexual Interest in a Couple – Sex Therapist Los Angeles
I Recently started to realize that the only time my wife and I ever have sex is when I sweet talk her into it. I feel like I have to ask her 100 times before she appeases me. How can I get her to be interested in me again?
What you’re referring to is a very common dilemma that exists in many sexual beds in America. In fact, sexual disinterest is the biggest problem today. It is not unusual to hear that people haven’t had sex for one year and two years. This is due to a lack of a strong sexual dynamic between men and women today. We don’t have men who can really support their masculine, nor do we have women who can really support their feminine. Instead we end up with something that many of you might not want to hear, but we end up with hard women and mushy men. That does not make for sexual excitement. Now your current plan of begging and appeasing is working against you. What you’re doing is letting her see you and experience you as a feminine man. She’s not going to respect you from that place. So I want to help you to stand up to her. But it’s not going to be in the way that you might expect. I want you to stand up and tell her “I really want to know about this sexual disinterest in me. What is involved in it. What exactly are you saying to me?” Now you’ll have to peruse that because she might not initially take you seriously, and let her know you’re really serious, “I want to know about this”. And if you can accomplish this, for the first time you’ll have a much clearer picture of what her sexual disinterest is. Maybe she doesn’t like how you touch, she doesn’t like how you talk, she doesn’t like how you kiss. Whatever it is, you’ll have a clear picture of this. And that will give you an opportunity to make some changes. But before you do that. I want you to ask her. “Ok I understand where we’re at now. What will make a difference. What can I do to make a change here that will really make a difference? Not just keep this pattern going. And are you willing to trust me that I’m willing to do that?” Just by you taking on that kind of strong position. You will already be sending her a different message.
Author: Bruce Derman Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Woodland Hills and Santa Monica, California who specializes in working with people in all stages of relationships. You may reach Dr. Derman by calling (818) 375-7194.