Articles

The Real Diet for Overweight People

Diet from swallowing life and learn to chew things up

Diet from eating other people’s comments and only eat your own thoughts

Diet from building your life around global abstract words like don’t be RUDE and Selfish,

Diet from giving others the vote as to what you do or say

Diet from pissing away or denying your sexuality

Diet from hedging your own power

Diet from personalizing everything

Diet from regarding disappointment, powerlessness, and emptiness as the enemy and seeing them as your best friends

Diet from proving, defending and guarding

Diet from being secretive

Diet from distrusting yourself

Diet from living with one foot in and one foot out and be willing to put two feet in or out

Diet from being ashamed of being ashamed

Diet from being afraid of being afraid and learning to be willing to be afraid

Diet from being inauthentic and incongruent

Diet from not loving yourself

Diet from futurizing or living in the past

Diet from rejecting your sadness, which is the doorway to the depth of your life.

Diet from immediate gratification

A Model for Divorce Mediation with High Conflict Couples

DIGNITY
ECONOMY
AND MUTUAL RESPECT

SO THAT THEY CAN PREVENT
THE WOUNDS OF THE PAST
FROM BECOMING THE SCARS OF THE FUTURE

 

ASK YOURSELF

  • Are you contemplating going through a divorce?
  • Are you not sure if you are ready for the consequences of divorce
  • Are you fearful of the economic, emotional, and psychological damage to your family as a result of a hostile divorce?
  • Are you searching for a way to divorce that will assist you with this process, while also desiring to respect the needs and interests of everyone involved?

If your answers are YES to these questions, then southern california Divorce Mediation can provide you with assistance in resolving the issues

For further clarification click here and see if you relate and identify with the following divorce scenarios

To determine the degree of conflict in your relationship so that you can know what kind of process you will require in your divorce click here.

(818) 375-7194

Transcending the View of Sexual Disorders in Los Angeles

All of us at some time or another are faced with sexual issues that interfere with our sexual relationships, whether it is impotency, premature ejactulations, sexual disinterest, orgastic problems, or just overwhelming fear.  I offer the sexual partners that I work a whole different way of looking at these issues by questioning the sexual definitions that we have all been conditioned to believe in. So in my model, instead of sex being defined by the occurrence of vaginal intercourse, I regard sex as any energy that is exchanged between two people regardless of the form being expressed.  The energy may be sadness, scared, provng, feeling obliged, aggression, or even sexual distinerest. Every part of your humanity offers a possibility to expand what is allowed in your sexual bed. No longer is your bed divided into acceptable behaviors being placed above the bed and unacceptable parts hidden beneath the bed.   By expanding the bed in this way each couple learns to transcend the whole notion of some behaviors being considered disorders and every night or day provides the possibility to be sexual together.  A second change in this model is that orgasms are no longer just seen as one familiar picture. Here orgasm is defined as a 100% of anything you experience, with the emphasis on each person passionately expressing whatever is authentic for them at a given time from head to toe.  From this expansive change in perspective my couples see themselves as sexual everyday, and no longer ask their partners “if they feel sexual tonight. ”

Those who are able to shift their conditioned perspective to the one proposed in this model of sex to fit current times, will feel much freer to be who they are with their partners since their beds will no longer be ruled by judgemental thinking, right and wrong, good and bad, and staying within very familiar boundaries. Some of them are even able to celebrate the title of my chapter on sex in We’d Have A Great Realtionship If it weren’t for You  called the Joy of Unsatisfactory Sex.  Think about it. If doing unsatisfactory sexujal behavior is allowed, how could your time in the bedroom be anything but satisfactory since you no longer have anything to fear or dread.

Utilizing the Aikido Philosophy in High Conflict Divorce

USING THE AIKIDO PHILOSOPHY WITH HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCE

BY BRUCE DERMAN, PH.D. AND MARY STODDARD, PH.D.

Divorce is not an easy life passage in the best of circumstances, since it involves making crucial lifetime decisions about marriage, children, money and property at a time in which we all feel very vulnerable and fearful. Despite those dilemmas a somewhat amicable divorce is possible until we add to the mix intense emotional agendas and personality disorders such as narcissistic, borderline and passive-aggressive, or just an overall refusal to cooperate, trust, and participate.
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Characteristics of the Difference Game and Mutuality

Characteristics of the Difference Game and Mutuality
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We could’ve had a great date if it weren’t for you

We could’ve had a great date if it weren’t for you
by Dr. Bruce Derman

Most every book that has been written to assist single people who are struggling with dating and relationships has two things in common. Continue reading

We could've had a great date if it weren't for you

We could’ve had a great date if it weren’t for you
by Dr. Bruce Derman

Most every book that has been written to assist single people who are struggling with dating and relationships has two things in common. Continue reading

The ten agendas of divorcing couples

The ten agendas of divorcing couples
by Bruce Derman, Ph.D.
When a couple goes through a divorce process, many times there is the assumption by various divorce professionals involved with them that they are seeking a divorce. Continue reading

How can you end a marriage that never was.

How can you end a marriage that never was.
BY Bruce Derman, Ph.D.

When looking at divorce, we tend to make several assumptions. We assume that the relationship in question didn’t work out for various reasons. Frequently, we see one more at fault that the other. Continue reading

The myth that destroys all intimate relationships… and how not to get seduced by it.

“The myth that destroys all intimate relationships…
…and how not to get seduced by it!”

When you listen to couples who are struggling with their relationship, there is basically one common theme which is told in a variety of ways. Continue reading

Books

AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. BRUCE DERMAN, DISCUSSING HIS THREE BOOKS:



Pay for a Therapy Session.
$175 an hour.


WORKSHOP FOR COUPLES

We'd have a Great relationship If It Weren't for You.
Feb.18th from 9AM-4PM

$100 per person


$175 per couple





    $14.00 (incl. tax)
WE'D HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU...Read More



$19.50 (incl. tax)

WE'D HAVE A GREAT DATE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU...Read More


$13.00 (incl. tax)  
THE HOLE...Read More